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Post by zotho on Jun 18, 2014 6:28:32 GMT -5
tiger chautin
Nothing has been heard by my ears this morning. Nothing at all. It's just a rush of enternity inside my head, a conversation with a thousand people all at once and yet I'm the only one speaking. Points and tips and memories and thoughts all rush around and around, cropping up here and there and overlapping one-another, but they never cease to stop. I just smile at everyone and do as I'm told put on this eat this you'll need your energy have you done this and this and that and eat this yes take this sit here arm out ouch look alive sunshine let's do this do this do this i'm ready ready ready for today is the day that the kids that grew up around me dreamt of.
I cannot remember if I dreamt of it too but I suppose I did, like all of them, dream of glory. Not this type to be exact i wanted to perform and laugh and have everyone smile in my presence i wanted to be adored and loved by anyone and everyone and I guess I could still have that once I get back home. If my mind was clearer and I listened hard enough perhaps I could rustle it out of my mmeory bank but there's just too much buzzing underneath my skull and that's okay, in a way. It's terrifying and thrilling at the same time. I'm scared that I won't hear Jem or Dan or Gavin call my name and I'm terrified some little tribute will sneak up on me and snap my neck before I get to put on my show what if this just gets louder and louder and i'm as good as deaf in this arena what if this happens what if that happens i shouldn't worry but i am but i'm excited i hope everyone else is excited because boy i sure am wait until they see the show i've got for them my god i'll blow them out of the arena.
And then we're up and away and before long I am standing in those transparent cylinder and I'm soaring to the sky like a bird to the sky except i'm not a bird i don't have wings maybe it'll be anti-gravity and i'll get to soar how funny a flying tiger and I can hear my entire District screaming my name tiger tiger tiger tiger i hear them roar from another world away. These kids look terrified and that's good, that's excellent, they won't fight back when I put on a show.
I think of my sister and smile, big white teeth bearing a grin, snarling into position. I yell, a whoop of excitement, and almost jump off my plate but i don't because if i do i'll burst into a million trillion pieces even though i feel like i will right now but it'd be a lot more painful like a party popper or a firework just bursting into life ready to pounce - this is it, this is it, this is it.
The countdown begins.
And
everything
just
stops.
There's no more rushing calamity of endless infinities inside my head. The tides stop raging, the river stops running. It all freezes - as if time has stopped altogether. (But it hasn't - 10, 9, 8, 7, 6...) There's just one single thought powering through my mind at a hundred thousand miles an hour:
Kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill-
Deep breaths. In, and out.
3, 2, 1-
I roar.
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Post by zotho on Jun 18, 2014 6:39:28 GMT -5
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Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
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[font size="1"][blockquote]Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.
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Post by zotho on Jun 20, 2014 20:50:31 GMT -5
tiger chautin As we soar, everybody takes to running towards the chaos that will start in three, two, one - ah, there it is. Fists fly and punches blossom and there's already carnage everywhere. And whilst they're all busy killing each-other I take it upon myself to have some fun, cartwheeling through the mess of tributes and laughing as they all hack away at each-other in a desperate lunge for items. The Capitol will love this (and I predicted it, didn't I?) and my District will love this and I laugh, tumbling around them with glee. This most certainly is a game and I'm going to make damn well sure I have the time of my life.
But my fun is cut short as my foot collides with a tribute mid-cartwheel and my hands slip on the orange dirt, almost falling over myself. "Watch it!" I scream - dusting myself off to assess the damage. Jem already grabbed the bow and arrows and a pang of jealousy courses through me - Gavin a spear and Dan some sort of axe thing. Fashionably late, I look around for a weapon but it seems everyone else has taken a good weapon, dammit. My hands find a slingshot thing and I toss a few rocks up into the air, juggling and laughing before twisting around to aim and fire into thin air - it's not much, but it'll do, at least.
{attacks _____ unarmed}
[roll=unarmed]
{result}
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Post by zotho on Jun 26, 2014 2:18:13 GMT -5
 She got away she got away she got away.
It's all I can think about. We weren't even 5 minutes into this game of life and death and that girl from ten got away. Our minimal talk in the wagon was filled with my never-ending thoughts slowly returning as I hid from the sun underneath the shade my fault stupid should have gotten her could have gotten her useless tiger come on get your head in the game you've gotta win but you can't win if you keep missing them you can't let them get away got to put on a good show you've got to i've got to-
"Come out, come out wherever you are!"
Everything in my head falls short. We slam to a stop and I jump up, knuckles a furious red and white as I grip my latest weapons. kill kill kill kill kill kill kill win win win win win. Everything else is irrelevant and I almost throw myself out of the cart, all four of us launching ourselves at the blonde-haired girl. i am flying flying flying to an early death but it's not mine it's not mine it won't be mine not now not ever.
When an arrow flies, I feel every inch of it leave my hands and watch it hit the target all at once. It's a whisper of breath, a trick of light, a hearbeat - blink, and you'll miss it. (Blink, and I might never wake up. Blink, and you might not either.) blink and i'll miss her blink she'll be dead. Blink - silver. Blink - blood. Blink - they've all fallen down like a toppling pyramid, one by one by one.
I don't care what the others say - she's mine this time.
God knows I'll try.
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Post by zotho on Jul 6, 2014 23:00:43 GMT -5
i JUST LSTO ALL MY FUCKING CODING GOodBYE
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Post by zotho on Jul 7, 2014 0:16:44 GMT -5
for a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse.
so collapse.
crumble.
this is not your destruction.
this is your birth. She got away she got away she got away.
It's all I can think about. We weren't even 5 minutes into this game of life and death and that girl from ten got away. Our minimal talk in the wagon was filled with my never-ending thoughts slowly returning as I hid from the sun underneath the shade my fault stupid should have gotten her could have gotten her useless tiger come on get your head in the game you've gotta win but you can't win if you keep missing them you can't let them get away got to put on a good show you've got to i've got to-
"Come out, come out wherever you are!"
Everything in my head falls short. We slam to a stop and I jump up, knuckles a furious red and white as I grip my latest weapons. kill kill kill kill kill kill kill win win win win win. Everything else is irrelevant and I almost throw myself out of the cart, all four of us launching ourselves at the blonde-haired girl. i am flying flying flying to an early death but it's not mine it's not mine it won't be mine not now not ever.
When an arrow flies, I feel every inch of it leave my hands and watch it hit the target all at once. It's a whisper of breath, a trick of light, a hearbeat - blink, and you'll miss it. (Blink, and I might never wake up. Blink, and you might not either.) blink and i'll miss her blink she'll be dead. Blink - silver. Blink - blood. Blink - they've all fallen down like a toppling pyramid, one by one by one.
I don't care what the others say - she's mine this time.
God knows I'll try.
She got away she got away she got away.
It's all I can think about. We weren't even 5 minutes into this game of life and death and that girl from ten got away. Our minimal talk in the wagon was filled with my never-ending thoughts slowly returning as I hid from the sun underneath the shade my fault stupid should have gotten her could have gotten her useless tiger come on get your head in the game you've gotta win but you can't win if you keep missing them you can't let them get away got to put on a good show you've got to i've got to-
"Come out, come out wherever you are!"
Everything in my head falls short. We slam to a stop and I jump up, knuckles a furious red and white as I grip my latest weapons. kill kill kill kill kill kill kill win win win win win. Everything else is irrelevant and I almost throw myself out of the cart, all four of us launching ourselves at the blonde-haired girl. i am flying flying flying to an early death but it's not mine it's not mine it won't be mine not now not ever.
When an arrow flies, I feel every inch of it leave my hands and watch it hit the target all at once. It's a whisper of breath, a trick of light, a hearbeat - blink, and you'll miss it. (Blink, and I might never wake up. Blink, and you might not either.) blink and i'll miss her blink she'll be dead. Blink - silver. Blink - blood. Blink - they've all fallen down like a toppling pyramid, one by one by one.
I don't care what the others say - she's mine this time.
God knows I'll try.
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Post by zotho on Jul 7, 2014 0:37:18 GMT -5
❝ for a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse.
so collapse.
crumble.
this is not your destruction.
this is your birth. ❞
She got away she got away she got away.
It's all I can think about. We weren't even 5 minutes into this game of life and death and that girl from ten got away. Our minimal talk in the wagon was filled with my never-ending thoughts slowly returning as I hid from the sun underneath the shade my fault stupid should have gotten her could have gotten her useless tiger come on get your head in the game you've gotta win but you can't win if you keep missing them you can't let them get away got to put on a good show you've got to i've got to-
"Come out, come out wherever you are!"
Everything in my head falls short. We slam to a stop and I jump up, knuckles a furious red and white as I grip my latest weapons. kill kill kill kill kill kill kill win win win win win. Everything else is irrelevant and I almost throw myself out of the cart, all four of us launching ourselves at the blonde-haired girl. i am flying flying flying to an early death but it's not mine it's not mine it won't be mine not now not ever.
When an arrow flies, I feel every inch of it leave my hands and watch it hit the target all at once. It's a whisper of breath, a trick of light, a hearbeat - blink, and you'll miss it. (Blink, and I might never wake up. Blink, and you might not either.) blink and i'll miss her blink she'll be dead. Blink - silver. Blink - blood. Blink - they've all fallen down like a toppling pyramid, one by one by one.
I don't care what the others say - she's mine this time.
God knows I'll try.
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Post by zotho on Jul 7, 2014 0:53:01 GMT -5
❝ for a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse.
so collapse.
crumble.
this is not your destruction.
this is your birth. ❞
To Kay & Charade; for your brilliant GMing, keeping the peace, allowing of the shaggin' wagon to happen, and somehow being able to stay sane and polite and simply wonderful to me & everyone - thank you guys, you rock <3
To Aya, Josh & Darren; for the laughs, the jokes, the nicknames, for letting me name us the Bad Bitches, for shaggin' wagon adventures, and for being the best Career-pack allies I could ever ask for. You're all incredible and brilliant and I love you - kick some ass for me!
To Elegant; for being the most wonderful person - I love you so much and could never ever resent you because you are the kindest, most polite, fun-loving, wonderful person and your soul just bursts with goodness and I am so lucky that I got to spend time with you this year.
To Tristen & Ella; for helping me create Tig and moulding her just right and helping me shape her into the character she is and was. Ella I know you're not on HGRPG anymore but if you ever read this - I love you, I miss you, thank you. Tristen - you're my twin and I love you so much and -- ah fuck it, you know how much you mean to me. <3
To Sam & Emmie; you're my best friends and this wouldn't be a thank-you from me without you in it. Idc if you don't think you helped or if Emmie only realised I was in the Games yesterday, you're my #1's. Mwah.
To everyone else; kick some ass and go hard. Thank you everyone for being so cool - this has been the most pleasant Games I've been in in terms of no drama or fights or anything.
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Post by zotho on Jul 7, 2014 2:25:25 GMT -5
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I am a catch of breath. Quick, sharp, in an instant. Sends your chest a burst of fright. Freezing, cold, snap. I'm fighting with everything I have. I'm on fire - burning, burning, burning. Snap, snap, slash, snap. There's no time to over-think this or let my brain fly away. I'm ruthless, calculated, kill kill kill kill kill is all I hear. I bear my teeth and growl - lion heart ablaze.
I'm setting myself on fire and yet there's something beneath my skin that's freezing cold.
wipwipwipwiwpwip
I don't realise until it's happened.
That I've exploded.
I burst from my body and the wonders my sister described that lay beneath my head fall into existence. Gold and silver and shining explosions pour from my body and I am a never-ending stream of laughter. Weightless, existing in everything and nothing, I am pulled up to the sky in a rush of delight. There's a hundred thousand billion thoughts running through the air and I dance on their syllables and twirl through clouds and they carry me upwards to a safe haven beyond. (I see the colours my sister would whisper about - they're beautiful, all of them, every word and phrase and tone an ocean of red and blue and everything in-between.)
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Post by zotho on Jul 8, 2014 3:02:18 GMT -5
[presto] T EXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE.[/presto] | [presto]T EXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE TEXT HERE.[/presto] |
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Post by zotho on Jul 15, 2014 20:22:31 GMT -5
❝even
after all this time the sun never says to the earth, "you owe me." look what happens with a love like that, it lights the whole sky.❞
“Chin up, Chautin.”
I haven’t slept for 3 days. I could never sleep without her so forgive me if I nap through your classes.
Chin up, chin up, chin up.
“I love you!”
I stare at the wooden door and tremble as they steal her away.
I love you too.
This house is quiet. It’s never quiet. Not ever.
She stole away our storm – it follows her everywhere. Boom, boom, boom, boom.
Twenty four, twenty three, twenty two, twenty one.
I count down their deaths and wait for her arrival.
I can’t find Ariadne.
“But she knows how to win. You taught her that, right?”
I’ve never seen my mother afraid before. She never backs down from anything. And now fear grips her by the shoulders and shakes her entire body and for the first time in forever she speaks to my father softly, quietly, with the utmost of care.
He takes her hand and smiles (who are you and what have you done with my parents?) but his eyes tell a different story.
“I taught her everything I know.”
Maybe she’ll fix us all.
Everything wasn’t enough.
Not for her extraordinary self.
I can’t find Ariadne.
She’s not in the garden or in her room or waiting for us – me – at the training centre. I don’t know where she is anymore. Or who she is.
If she abandons me here I don’t know what I’ll do.
Television screens lie all the time.
Corpses delivered to your house in wooden boxes don’t.
I expected them to start screaming at each-other again.
They don’t.
They hold each-other and weep instead.
(You did it, Tig. You fixed them.
Now come back. Please.)
I can’t find my sisters.
Sister.
Sister?
Help.
In the dead of the night I find my father staring at the wall.
(“At least she didn’t die a killer” someone told me. Around here that’s considered an embarrassment, but not in my home.)
They couldn’t steal her light away.
But they stole ours.
I take his hand and we both shake.
I will be okay. Eventually.
When the world stops blurring and collapsing.
The earth is damp beneath my feet and I am exhausted.
The sun keeps shining regardless.
(Chin up, chin up, chin up.)
I raise my gaze and smile at the sky.
She is everywhere. Always.
I can't find-
I can't-
Come back.
I can't sleep until the sun rises.
I find Ariadne on the roof.
"She's here now. Isn't she?"
She says nothing. I smile.
The world is flooded in salt and grief.
Sometime after, I lie in the garden and feel the sun on my face – warm, bright, endlessly burning.
Always.
Chin up, Chautin.
She lights me up every day.
❝there will be light in the dark place of fate
you will know our alliance was written in the stars
and once broken the huge covenant, you had to die.❞
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Post by zotho on Aug 21, 2014 2:26:12 GMT -5
 Soren tells me he has nightmares where he's running away from his demons. I said nothing in response and pretended to be sympathetic, like I had no idea what he felt like when he woke up the next day. I wonder if he knows what it's like to be running from your demons in real life, to hear your feet pound against the pavement for hours upon hours, desperate to let the rhythm drown out everything else. There's something oddly cathartic when your legs are screaming in pain - maybe it's just that. They're doing the screaming for you.
I hear screaming now - but it's not coming from my mouth. It's pouring from the waves of people screaming in support and cheering on their favourites. I wonder (again, with the wandering thoughts - I should stop and focus but my mind is constantly pulling and pushing against my will) if they scream this loudly for the tributes in the Capitol. At least I'll come home after this is all over. And yet part of me doesn't want to leave at all.
Like an arrow, I think. Quick, fast, in the blink of an eye.
We take flight, and I keep on running.
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Post by zotho on Aug 21, 2014 3:16:02 GMT -5
 She doesn't know what she was thinking when she signed up for Diving. In fact she doesn't think she was thinking at all - just another robotic movement in a floury of rushing arms all desperate to get a taste of the Olympics. A part of her ached to see the archery spots all taken but she hasn't touched her bow in weeks, so the water events would have to do. In all honesty, she needed a breath of fresh air, a new challenge to focus her mind on. Firing arrow after arrow became boring - the need to learn and train compete knotting up inside of her like a nervous collection of familiarity. She didn't thirst for the water or the glory: she thirsted for the challenge.
Eyeing up the others came all too easy. It was ingrained into her skull like the process of swimming one stroke after the other. This was the easy part - the hard part came to the actual event. Grace, skill, quick-thinking - surely she could suffice enough to gain a good score.
I am graceful, she thinks as she climbs to the top of the world. I am skillful. I am sharp. I can win, I can win, I can win.
She simply must.
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Post by zotho on Aug 21, 2014 3:27:06 GMT -5
 If i'm going to be completely honest he writes, I don't really care for athletics at all. I'm just here for that medal to hang around my neck at the dinner table for a month straight so I can rub it in all my siblings' faces every single meal. God, I can't wait to see Kellan's sour face when he gets a load of this. Or Justice - I've been meaning to find a new way to annoy him other than hiding his hair product all around the house. Scratching at his head with his pencil, the eldest Fray pauses for a moment of reflection. As a sly grin spurts upon his face once more his mind clicks on again and continues his frivolous scribbling right before his event begins.
And the best part is that it works two ways. If I make an absolute idiot of myself I can shrug it off and act like I don't care. Of course I'll be pissed, but they'll try and bug me about it, the whole lot of them. God, Mom and Dad should have stopped at me, everyone knows the others are only there because my parents wanted a trophy case of spare children to polish up every now and then. Anyway, it'll work both ways because I'll let no indication of my disappointment show. So while they're all whining and throwing tantrums over their failures or gloating with their prizes, I'll simply act like I don't give a shit. Which I won't, if I don't win.
(But let's be honest, I've got great odds.)
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Post by zotho on Aug 24, 2014 17:47:06 GMT -5
 "Brody O'Rourke!"
Who?
He doesn't have time to scan the crowds. In fact he doesn't have much time to do anything except smile and wave and gear up for his impending enslaught. Someone's been muttering battle strategies in his ears all morning - pretend it's someone you hate, all attack no defense (or was it all defense no attack?) - but it's all just a blur of nothing. Stress has never come easily to Nathaniel but he's no stranger to expectations and the weight that those carry upon his shoulders.
The O'Rourke kid steps up to his position and he faces his challenger. The guy looks pretty built but Nate is fast, calculated, patient. Most importantly, he's an expert on hiding the nerves that swarm through his body and fill his lung and chest as the bell sounds. So he does what he does best - smiles, and plunges into his fate.
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